Posted by Deneb on May 13, 2006, at 0:04:17
I'm really not much of a conversationalist. I'm pretty quiet nearly all of the time. Most days I do not talk to anyone except family.
Interacting with others wears me out immensely. Sometimes I feel like tearing my hair out after an interaction. I keep thinking of all the stupid things I said or did and I would be mortified. Sometimes I force myself to smile and laugh the whole time and then my facial muscles get tired from all the forced smiling. I don't want to keep smiling.
I'm also afraid of being lonely. I'm going to be alone in a giant city. What if the people going don't really want to do things together? I might end up going to a lot of places alone. No one to share my experience with. I might take Piglet with me to keep me company. I did that 2 or 3 years ago when I went to the movies alone. Now I just go to the movies alone without Piglet.
What if I get really homesick? What if the trip is really stressful? Maybe I should take breaks like some others are probably going to do. I'm probably going to be extremely tired for the entire trip. I'm waking up early to take the bus on Fri. I probably won't get any sleep that night because I usually go to bed late and because of the excitement. I probably won't be able to sleep either because I can never sleep in unfamiliar places. I'll be sleep deprived for 5 days. Will I be okay?
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:643333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060503/msgs/643333.html