Posted by Racer on March 7, 2006, at 19:15:38
In reply to How it went *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 7, 2006, at 16:48:29
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> Met guy, pretty niceGood. That's a start.
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> I can't order coffeeOh, no! So, while he drank his coffee, you had to sit there with nothing? That's terrible!
(I'm assuming the above is not true, right? So, uh, Deneb, if it's not true, and you did have coffee in your hands, what does that tell you? Tells me you can and did order coffee... The only reason I can drink anything in a Starbuck's is that I pick up a bottle of water or plain black decaf. Latte? Cappuchino? What dat?)
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> His life, electrical engineer, my life, nothingUh, student? That ain't nothing.
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> Still ok during meeting, surprisingly not anxious, but still made fool of selfI don't get this. Then again, I'm a middle aged woman who has much more experience in being anxious in social situations than you do. Guess what, Deneb? He was probably more concerned with how he was coming across than anything about you beyond "attractive" or "not-attractive." Most people will not be judging you nearly as harshly as you judge yourself, and most people won't notice if you flub a word, or anything like that.
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> Tutor, me scatterbrained, can't do simple math
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> He must think I'm stupid, retarded maybe...bad thoughts...can't stand itDeneb -- Back the heck up here. So, you're scatterbrained and you can't do simple math. (You say, you probably weren't as bad as all that.) Where does the next part come from? You start at Point A, move on to Point B -- so how the heck do you get way the heck over to "he must think I'm stupid?" Much more likely, he thought you were scatterbrained and not concentrating. And probably not even the only one he saw today who was scatterbrained and not concentrating.
Also, I'd bet most math mistakes are in the simple parts. It's not the Big Concepts that people fall down on, it's the "two plus two equals 8" that creates problems. So, if you can't do simple math, it still don't mean you can't do complex math.
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> Me, why do I have to live?Maybe you have to live solely in order to learn NOT to get yourself twisted into a pretzel by the world? You're jumping way past anything the available facts can support.
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> Who am I kidding?
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> I can't socialize...too draining, too stressfulYou just need the following four things: To relax, to practice, and to practice and practice some more.
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> Now, worried about BabbleFest
>You're welcome to worry about it, but wouldn't it be better to use your energy more productively? Think how you'd do if you put half that WorryEnergy into studying? Straight As, so think on that when you start to worry.
Also, talk to your pdoc about this. Maybe it's time to start looking at DBT skills? This is a perfect subject for using them.
poster:Racer
thread:616436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060303/msgs/617226.html