Posted by Tanzanite on March 5, 2006, at 19:56:12
Yeah part of it has always been a reassurance thing,but this is not all in my head. I do not feel like this is mostly my problem. Truth is I feel like I am living alone with someone who says they love me but never takes my thoughts into consideration, says he loves me but hardly ever shows it, and the rest of the time is working or sleeping. I sleep a lot and I try to match my schedule with his, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't even set the alarm and get up and ask to spend time with me. I have tried to get him to spend time with me, but it is like I have to repeat myself and he never seems to get the cue or the point even if it is spoonfed. He can be the sweetest thing, but that is so long as you don't say anything he doesn't want to hear. He goes straight for the TV. He hasn't gotten the other car to the shop and keeps ignoring my concerns. I had today of loving and being with other people. Then I had a dream of yelling out at him telling him he didn't love me, I was lonely ( at first I thought it was for real) I thought he was actually up and getting dressed and that I was yelling this to him. Well I was not, I woke up saying I am lonely and then he rolls over and puts his hand on my back. I love this man with all my heart. But, I don't feel special. I used to do special things, I pretty much don't do much for him anymore because I feel like a nothing. All has not been peaceful in this marriage I will admit. I feel like I cannot go to him. I feel like I am talking to a brick wall that gets defensive and says mean and angry things. I just had to get this out. I am so sad and so alone right now.
Peace
Tanzanite
poster:Tanzanite
thread:616344
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060303/msgs/616344.html