Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 11, 2006, at 10:29:09
In reply to To One and All, and All in One, posted by Joan797 on February 11, 2006, at 7:48:11
Joan,
I don't know you as I've been away from the boards for a while, and only recently came back. I thought I would share something with you though.
For the longest time, I thought that my relationship with my parents had died when I was 14, and in many respects, it did. Being compelled to think over my relationships lately, I came across some times when those relationships were healthy.
One of those times was when my Mom's mother was dying. My mother had been taking care of her at my parents' house for months, and my grandmother finally became too sick to take care of at home, so she was in the hospital.
One day I went to visit, moments after she had passed away. It was just me and my mother, and my grandmother in that room. For those few minutes, the three of us were closer than we had ever been, and maybe closer than we ever will be.
I've never lost a parent, so I can't tell you what it is like, or how to make it easier... I don't think that anyone can tell you that.
I can tell you though that death can be a holy thing. That it can bring people closer. I can tell you that if you are there for your parents, that they appreciate it. That having family and friends there makes it more of an experience of transition than ending, and makes it more natural and less frightening.
It hurts. We come to depend on those we love, and they won't be around anymore. One thing that I love about Native American spirituality is that they believe that when a person dies, their spirit remains with us They are still here. They are in the air and the earth and the water and they are a part of us. That brings some comfort.
I hope that you keep coming. I hope that you can find blessing in the journey that your parent is taking. I hope that you can become closer.
Blessings,
--Dee
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:608594
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060203/msgs/608615.html