Posted by Dinah on November 16, 2005, at 9:49:37
In reply to Re: sticking around - poss. *trigger* (long) » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on November 16, 2005, at 0:27:48
I'm sorry, 10der. I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories. I don't really mean I think it's ok to die in nine years. It's more that I think of the fact that if anything happens to my husband and I, unless we can find a suitable guardian (a very big unless), my son would be given to my mother (aaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!!!) or my brother (aaaggghhhh. His fiance believes in corporal punishment) to raise. Both outcomes are so truly horrible that I literally say to my husband before we part every day "Don't forget. You can't die." I'm even developing hypochondria over it. Every blemish becomes a potential killer of myself and cause of handing my son over to my mother.
And that just can't be. I grew up with her when she wasn't as raging as she is now, but she was raging enough. Now she flies off the handle to perfectly innocent people who have done nothing whatsoever wrong. It's an incredible embarassment to me to watch. To turn over my son to her? Unthinkable. I grew up in a house so full of her hoarding and so filthy that German cockroaches infested each room. They were so bold that they'd promenade across the kitchen table during meals and it wasn't unusual to have them crawl up the underside of your plate and wave their tiny antennae as a howdy as you were eating. I tried to stem the tide when I was there, but I know after I left they developed a mouse problem that I'm not sure is fixed.
I've even tried to make sure visiting insurance adjusters, etc. have seen what's going on, hoping they'll turn her in to the authorities. But no luck thus far inside, tho she's had a few citations outside.
I just can't let my son go to that.
So that's what I meant.
poster:Dinah
thread:579129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051109/msgs/579282.html