Posted by Chrispy_85 on October 20, 2005, at 13:46:48
i've got a problem that's been eating away at me for quite some time now and i just don't know what i should do. i need help. to emphasize the full magnatude of ti though, i've got to tell a bit of a long story...
ok, so before the story, i'll tell my problem. i'm now 20 years old, and i just think that's i need to be out on my own now. but i feel if i do, i will have enormous guilt. here's why...ok, so i live with just my mom...parents divorced 9 years ago. my mom has had a really, really crappy life almost right from the beginning. when she was 11, her mother died after battling breast cancer for 5 years and nobody told her or her younger brothers that she was dying until about a week before she died. none of them were allowed to go to the funeral. so not only had her mother died, but she fealt unbelieveable guilt because when her mom was sick and in bed all the time my mom just thought she was lazy and was always angry at her. so then she got separated from her father as he couldn't afford to support any of his children because he had spent all of his money on medical expenses over the years leading up to my mom's death. so she moved from family to family, school to school for her entire adolesence. since her early 20's, she has suffered from severe depression and has tried to kill herself once. she never went to college or university and as a result struggles just to keep the house we live in and rents out our basement. i pay her rent as well, but i just can't afford to give her as much as i'd like to. When my father left she was devastated and hasn't really gotten over it to this day. and i love her with all my heart but at the same time, i just feel like i need to get on with my life. but i know that she'd just feel awful when i leave because she understandably has huge abandonment issues. please anyone...i would value any suggestions that you could give because i truely feel like i'm in a catch 22 here. thanks for listening, it's always appreciated.
chris
poster:Chrispy_85
thread:569318
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20051015/msgs/569318.html