Posted by Racer on July 16, 2005, at 13:23:04
In reply to We Are Not Afraid, posted by NikkiT2 on July 16, 2005, at 10:16:35
>
>.. anger and frustration are still ruling, as some might have noticed.. I also know I'm probably being faintly boring still harping on about it, but bear with me.. I will heal..
>Nikki? Honey? Take this in the spirit in which it is offered, OK?
Don't be so silly!!! It's only been a week, you experienced something that was devastating in a very literal sense, and you're worried that others are finding it boring? You're worried that you're not getting over it fast enough? Go back and think about that for a moment, 'K?
Six months from now, if you're still worried about it, if it's still the first thought in your mind when you wake up every morning, then maybe it's time to think about what to do about it. Today? Today you get to think about it, and lick your wounds -- even in public -- and shiver a little when it crosses your mind. Today, we only love you and hope our love helps.
For what it's worth, I have felt pressured to "get over" losses more quickly than I could. When my beloved Aunt Rac -- for whom I am named -- died, I wore black for 30 days and told everyone it was traditional in my family, that someone closer would have gotten 6 months. Truth? I loved Aunt Rac, missed her a lot, and wanted to stop people before they hurt me more by telling me to "snap out of it" or "get over it" or some such rubbish. 30 days of publicly grieving her was the least I could do.
And even so, many people told me that I should stop wearing black after the first few days.
What do they know?
Grieve in whatever way feels natural to you, my dear friend. That's the way you are meant to grieve.
And your image is great -- I love the composition of the sign just off center. Thank you for showing us.
poster:Racer
thread:528507
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050708/msgs/528579.html