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But now...

Posted by fallsfall on June 9, 2005, at 10:27:55

In reply to Re: Jury Duty » fallsfall, posted by JenStar on June 8, 2005, at 23:55:03

The trial went well. The guy was guilty. It was really clear, but we tried to be openminded and figure out if there could be reasons for his actions. The defendant's lawyer pissed the judge off - that was interesting.

The deliberations went well. I was able to make my points and ask questions without feeling like I was being overly controlling of the group.

The hardest part was that I have tension in my legs that makes them hurt sometimes (the plane ride back from Chicago was brutal). So I tried to stand and move around and stretch when we weren't seated in the Jury box. And I was successful in limiting the pain while we had to be sitting still.

Being "normal" is pretty scary to me. But as I do more things, I see that I can really do them.

So the next dilemma is that there is a 1st degree murder trial starting next week. We report on Monday for Jury Selection. But I had my doctor write me a note saying that I didn't have to serve on trials estimated to last more than 2 days (the one I was on was 1/2 day). This was because I was afraid that I would get overwhelmed and need a break, but not be able to get one. But now I'm almost wishing I could be on that jury. Because it is important, and interesting. And because I feel a little guilty that I get out of it when I "probably"(??) Could do it. It is not my goal to get "out" of jury duty.

So I was talking to my therapist today about the trial and how it went (and I even went to work for 3 1/2 hours after the trial). He is fine with my decision to opt out of the murder trial, but he did say that he thought I could probably do it. Part of me really wants to opt back in. To at least be considered for the jury. I'm sure he would write me a new note rescinding his restrictions. This case is estimated for 2 weeks. But I did find that there were lots of breaks in the trail, times when the lawyers were conferring with the judge. And they were very careful to explain the laws clearly.

Clearly 1st degree murder is different from not stopping for a police officer. But I'm not sure that it is necessarily true that "normal" people could handle it better than I could. I wonder if my therapist could be flexible to still see me during the trial, or if I could call him (not to talk about the particulars of the trial, but about the process of the trial and what I can do to survive through the process).

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