Posted by broken on April 21, 2005, at 12:32:20
In reply to my ex husband wants to be friends., posted by woolav on April 21, 2005, at 10:33:22
*Maybe* I can offer a point of view similar to your current husband.
My current wife and I have a great relationship. We are past the early jealousy stage, and have figured out the best way to make our relationship exciting for both of us.
When we first married, she and her ex were pretty bitter also, but they had two children together, so it was always civil. Later on, he wanted to be friends. Made several calls to chat to her, and always called while I was at work. I had no worries over my wife leaving me, but I found his behavior disrespectful to both myself and our marriage. Although they had a bond through the children, she had a new life and a new marriage. That fact seemed lost on him, since he was not married at that point.
After a discussion with my wife, I spoke to him and made the point ( as delicately as possible to keep things civil ) that I disagreed with what he was doing. Luckily, for everyone involved, especially the kids, it went ok. Not great, but ok. Now, many years later, he is married with stepchildren as well, and the relationship is a friendly one for all involved.
Believe it or not, I have even called him and discussed discipline issues dealing with my stepkids. I have been lucky I admit, but it wasn't just luck. It was also work for everyone involved.Anyway, sometimes it's more than being insecure. It might be your current husband feeling that your ex has no respect for him or your marriage. Just an idea, hope it helps in understanding..
Broken
poster:broken
thread:487425
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050418/msgs/487474.html