Posted by Spoc on April 10, 2005, at 16:54:51
In reply to Re: please be civil » used2b » Spoc, posted by Dr. Bob on April 10, 2005, at 11:00:27
Wow, amazing how things end up working out sometimes! Sure hadn't anticipated anything like this during my drop-in, and on the very heels of my fade-out yet. Can't at all see why, all things considered (including the subjectiveness of interpretation here and my own track record), a Please Rephrase wouldn't have been more than sufficient.
Nevertheless, to tidy up, here are the benign actual ingredients that went into the wording (but not seeking further examination; would be great to be left "here"):
Re sentence snip, part #1: it is repeatedly insisted that one has tried or offered very unwanted help, constructive criticism, and interest/investment in knowing the background of another. When in fact one is demonstrably not doing so. Under those circumstances, it is not unlikely and not an insult to hypothesize that on previous occasions (which probably have looked similar on the surface), they *were* usually being offered help and to be 'studied.' Or, that that pattern has understandably led them to assume more feeling, willingness and interest, than may always be the case. In fact, one really can't think of other reasons at the moment.
That part of the call may involve intent having been presumed (although I thought it wasn't supposed to be). Not unlike the issues involved in the recent Admin discussion of the phrase "big cheese" and others, and idioms in general. (Note that if intent is being assessed, many additional well-suited utterings were also available.)
Re sentence snip, part #2: when it is repeatedly insisted that one has tried or offered that very unwanted help, constructive criticism, and interest/investment in another, but through referencing the actual words involved as well as the clarification attempts, it can be seen that one in fact did not, it is not unlikely and not an insult to hypothesize that what was heard was only what was expected to be heard, rather than what was actually said. We all do this kind of thing at times and it is not a put-down.
I also thought it came across that this thread had been tricky to -- but fortunately was -- finally brought to a mutually satisfactory close. Was clearly and happily over now, with no harm or violation having been alleged by either party involved, and so was best or at least quite sufficient to just leave at that.
Ok, fini (Kid, calm down, I know how crazy it drives you when I speak French! Can I drone on forevermore about needing to get to work and stay off the Internet, if it is in French? ;). I think this kind of thing is worth noting, including because even an isolated PBC is in *some* cases tracked, and can show up as foundation for a block with no warning, even months and months (or potentially years?) later. However, I guess such notation, even if valid, does not in fact change anything in the records book.
Am again hoping circumstances will remain such that I 'can' stop 'talking' now. If circumstances do not remain "such," but I am mute anyway, I might not deserve credit for anything like self-discipline. It would probably mean that I managed to even unsubscribe from remaining threads in order to cyberscram.
But the thing that may help the most with that is the irony of the fact that on this, one of my last threads as I determined whether to head for the door, all I had done was give someone a compliment. And this is how it ended up. Coming from not even just one, but two fronts.
Oh well. Happy Sunday, anyone out there. :-)
poster:Spoc
thread:478418
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050408/msgs/482449.html