Posted by jay on February 12, 2005, at 17:56:04
In reply to Re: Jay gives the Ultimatum..comments needed :), posted by Tabitha on February 12, 2005, at 16:48:58
> Since you've already sent this, I'm not sure what comments will be helpful. When I read that it sounds like a final kiss-off letter. I personally wouldn't want to try again after someone said that I lied in my ad and had nothing to offer.
>
> Jay it sounds like the main deal-breaker for you here is that you're wanting more contact than she does. How about thinking of it as a case of two people wanting different things in a relationship, rather than one person being right and the other wrong? It might make for a more peaceful ending for both of you.
>
> I'm just concerned that when you feel rejected by a woman, you seem to judge her pretty harshly. That's understandable, because you must be hurt and angry, but I'm afraid you might be building up resentment that could make it even harder to connect with the next potential partner.
>Yes, you are quite right indeed Tabitha...it should be more than just a final outburst of my hurt. The thing is, I didn't include a lot of information in my post that might lead up to seeing why I was/am pretty frustrated. I've published my 'saga' all over this site, and a lot has to do with the fact that she has a severely untreated depression and refuses help for it. Maybe I should just look at it that way and go my own way. I have no problem in the world supporting someone with a mental illness, obviouslly having one myself, but untreated it is such a horrific and cruel thing I can't stand to watch somebody I care for try to live through without treatment. So, does that maybe make a little bit more sense? I know...nothing is ever, ever black and white. But I think if she does really care for me, she will put up some type of fight, try somehow, and as long as I see that, I will gladly help along the way.
Anyhow...thanks...this is really a messy situation, maybe I didn't make the smartest of moves, but one thing I can't do is spend every day wondering..."does she even care?.."
Sincerely,
Jay
poster:jay
thread:456803
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050205/msgs/456887.html