Posted by AdaGrace on November 10, 2004, at 20:16:59
In reply to Your father's death » saw, posted by just plain jane on November 10, 2004, at 17:28:07
Sabrina,
Be kind to yourself. Grieve. Allow it, for I did not. Grieve for what you feel you have lost, grieve for what you feel you have missed out on. Then for a brief period of time......think one thing a day that you think was good about your relationship with your father. Perhaps it is you have his eyes. Perhaps it is thanking him for making you here on this earth, and maybe, just maybe allowing that newfound love you have for him be the reason you get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You were not selfish, you were there at his side. You did the right thing, and you are a good kind hearted person for doing so.
Losing a parent you weren't close to is sometimes as hard as one you are close to. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. And it will be a slow process. Stages of grief, that's what they call it, and it truely works just that way. I think I am still in the angry stage, for it took me almost 4 years to even start. My mother was my heart and soul, and I lost her before I knew her as an adult child knows a parent. Something I will never quite get over, and I do so miss her and I hate the one who carelessly took her out of my life, but now, 6 years later, I hate less, love more, and wish less. She suffers no more, and if I missed out on something, then it was my own doing, not hers and she is in such a better place. I talk to her daily, and I know she hears me. I sometimes turn a deaf ear to what she says back, but I am trying.
I'm here for you, as much as my limited internet access allows, but know that my heart and mind is with you always. Take care and keep in touch.
God Bless you
AdaGrace
poster:AdaGrace
thread:413651
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/414395.html