Posted by AuntieMel on November 9, 2004, at 10:43:53
In reply to My father's dying, posted by saw on November 9, 2004, at 1:45:00
I know what you mean. My father and I not only weren't close, he was emotionally abusive to us when we were kids.
I tried to stay in contact with him, though it was never comfortable, knowing that I (this is about how *I* operate) would feel guilty forever if I didn't at least try.
But when he died, I didn't care. I didn't feel bad, glad, happy, sad - just nothing. At first I thought it was probably the 'shock' of the situation, but fact is I still don't care.
It was a huge revelation to me in therapy to admit that I really, really just didn't care - and that it was ok.
So, my advice is to just feel what you feel and don't worry if it is right or wrong. Whatever you feel is right for you, and that is all that matters.
poster:AuntieMel
thread:413651
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/413789.html