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integration and disintegration

Posted by octopusprime on November 7, 2004, at 20:31:40

i found out today that an old friend of mine is married and pregnant, just about to give birth

i found out today that another old friend of mine is a suburban wife and soon to be soccer mom

i found out today that the guy i'm dating thinks that the pills i take for birth control and sanity are causing me to lack a conscience (he needs to be dumped)

i found out today that my mother is having trouble climbing in and out of the bathtub

i found out today that whipping cream tastes good in banana bran muffins

i found out yesterday that my sister dumped her boyfriend, and i did a dance of joy

yesterday i cried tears of joy
the day before i cried tears of frustration
and today i cried tears of frustration again

i wish
i wish i could integrate the disparate parts of my life together
i wish i didn't feel like a fragmented whole
i wish the different realities that i see didn't collide
and make me question what is the truth and what is a lie

i wish i could feel sane
i wish i could feel whole
instead i have nothing but a hole inside
where my guts have spilled out
from telling the truth and making the wrong choices


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poster:octopusprime thread:413048
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041105/msgs/413048.html