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Alcohol Warnings

Posted by ron1953 on September 26, 2004, at 23:09:51

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion. The following warning labels should be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the konsumshun of alcohol may mack you tink you can tipe reel gude.

"Life isn't like a box of chocolates"; it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.


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poster:ron1953 thread:395535
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040923/msgs/395535.html