Posted by JenStar on September 10, 2004, at 1:44:27
In reply to What's wrong with me?, posted by Angela2 on September 8, 2004, at 18:46:11
hi Angela,
I agree that you shouldn't beat yourself up over this! There is always next time, right? Now that you know time is going to be tight between T and class, I'm sure you can figure out a way to leave T a few minutes early if needed to get to class on time?I read a book written by a T. He said once that he had a patient who was chronically late and always said to him, "I'm not good with time." Finally he confronted her and told her, "You're very good with time, you're always exactly ten minutes late. Clearly you intend to be ten minutes late to every appointment with me." She got angry, denied it, started coming erratically, but finally decided to arrange her schedule to come exactly on time and talk about what had been bugging her that made her come late.
This resonated with me because I thought about things for which I am perpetually late (plenty!) One example, for me, is being barely-there-by-the-skin-of-my-fingernails to important meetings. I get so caught up in the prep (are my foils perfect? Is my presentation perfect? Are they going to be impressed? Are my teeth clean?) that I end up pushing the time limit and making myself FRANTIC as I rush to get there on time. It would be so simple -- I know it -- if I just managed time better so I have a breathing block of ten minutes BEFORE the meeting, instead of frazzling myself down to the last bare bones of a second. So why do I ALWAYS do this? It drives me nuts!?!**
I think my issues revolve around a secret desire to avoid the meeting altogether or to have a handy excuse just in case the presentation doesn't go well ("Oh, well, I COULD have wowed them...if I'd only had a few more minutes to prepare!") Sometimes, when I focus on it, I can force myself to plan my time out so that I do have a handy block of breathing space...but I'm still working on this.
Anyway, I sympathize with the coming in late thing. I used to think my butt looked hideous in any pants, and that if I came late to class, people would look at it and think it was huge and hideous and laugh behind their hands and hate me. I mean, this did not keep me up nights, but it was a little nagging thought that hit me every time I had to struggle between desks or down a row to get to a seat. It made coming in late VERY difficult! :)
It's so not fun to be stressed about stuff like that...
I hope things are going well.
take care!
jenStar
> Hi. OK, this is a little weird for me, because I'm still in the "I don't know if this is important enough" phase (is it a phase?) but I didn't go to class today because I didn't want to walk in late. I had a t appt right before that and I rushed over to school and started walking towards campus from the parking lot. I looked at my watch and saw that I was almost 10 min late so I turned around and went back to the parking lot. I know it's like, not that big a deal, and I can just go to the next class, but it feels like a really big deal to me right now because I could've gone to class late. it wouldn't have been a big deal. My parents were like totally mad at me too but thats not the part that worries me. It's just that I can't not go to work because I'm going to be late. I feel so irresponsible:(
poster:JenStar
thread:388282
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040907/msgs/389070.html