Posted by SLS on September 7, 2004, at 18:02:33
In reply to Re: But how do I fill my life with joy? » SLS, posted by Dinah on September 7, 2004, at 16:13:49
> G*d, Scott. I wish I could. I seem to have lost that ability right along with the ability to experience music. I can see the most perfect things and be as unmoved as if I were looking at a box.
I guess it is a lot easier said than done, especially when you are depressed. Of course, you do understand that it is almost impossible to readily feel such joy when you are in the midst of a biological depression. Do you suppose this might be what's going on with you? Take note that Octopusprime found it easier to be in contact with joy during those "couple of pretty good days in a row." Are you being aggressive enough with your biological treatment if you do indeed need any? (Just checking).
> What I'm pretty sure of, though, is that that hasn't been a constant state for me for over fifteen years. It *feels* that way right now, but I *know* it can't be so. It's distorted thinking. I know that.
It is not distorted thinking. It is muted feeling.
> I just deleted a huge chunk of post because it was ridiculously self pityingly and I can't abide myself when I'm like this.
You have some nerve not being self-pitying in front of us!
:-)
> I'd be sorry I ever started this self pitying thread, except that it *is* good to see other people sharing their joys.
> I'm sorry to be such a total wet squelchy blanket.
You are forgiven, dear. Just don't let it happen again...
...that you don't allow yourself the same needs as those you are always concentrating on helping.
See ya'.
Love,
Scott
poster:SLS
thread:387433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040907/msgs/387773.html