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Re: Arrrgghh. I need that proposed relationship board.

Posted by Dinah on September 6, 2004, at 15:36:50

In reply to Re: Arrrgghh. I need that proposed relationship board. » Dinah, posted by partlycloudy on September 6, 2004, at 14:51:23

It's just a holiday, that's all. My husband gets super revved up for productivity on the holidays, and it's hard to be around for me and my son.

Even on days where he doesn't stand there with energy crackling from his body and wanting to DO something useful, he gets all invested in plans on holidays. And when something throws the plans off a bit, he gets angry.

His anger is usually directed at himself. He should have planned better. He should be doing more. He should have better conveyed to us the urgency behind sweeping the floor.

But it makes me just want to curl up somewhere and go to sleep. But I can't, because that would still leave my son.

I don't get why he doesn't get it. How can you walk in on hearing your son say that Dad is always angry, and get angry instead of getting a wake up call. Sure, it was a bit of hyperbole. Dad isn't always angry, and Dad is better about playing games and stuff than Mom. But there was a bit of truth in there that I don't understand how my husband can ignore.

My therapist says it's because my husband is so very very sure that he's right and everyone else is wrong. He's positive the world will go to h*ll in a handbasket if he doesn't personally hold it on his shoulders. That's why my therapist doesn't have high hopes for therapy or marriage counseling.

So today, as on all holidays and vacations, I'm repeating my mantra. My husband is a good man. He has many fine and useful qualities. My husband is a good man. He has many fine and useful qualities. My husband is a good man. He has many fine and useful qualities.

(Disclaimer: My husband has never raised a hand to either of us. He doesn't even yell. It's just a fair amount of snapping at us. And all that angry energy snap crackling and popping.)

 

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