Posted by JenStar on August 31, 2004, at 10:53:32
In reply to Re: my thoughts...Worth a penny? You decide! :) » JenStar, posted by Larry Hoover on August 31, 2004, at 10:38:36
Lar, you're right that a person can't know exactly what someone else is thinking...can only make assumptions.
But sometimes I think we are too politically correct and too 'gentle' to people who act out and deliberately cause trouble.
Also, we have to make SOME assumptions just to get by in the world, even if they are just a starting point and we continually revise from there. Not all assumptions are wrong, even if they are unpleasant in nature.
And sometimes it's OK to let people know where our personal limits are, and that they are not allowed to step on them. An "I" statement is now always the best way to do this.
Of course I recognize that babble is goverened by a specific set of rules which don't necessarily allow for that!
I'm a huge believer in "I" statements....IF the person you're talking with is a person capable of reasoning in the same way, and a person who feels bound by the same rules of behavior.
For example, at work we are hugely into constructive confrontation, and are all over the "I" statements. Part of the reason it works so effectively is that the corporate culture enforces it, and people who work there buy into that interaction philosophy. You know that if you start an "I" statement, the other person will know what you are doing, will recognize it, and will get into rhythm with you to solve the problem.
I think there are times when dealing with an irrational person that "I" statements are completely ineffective.
What do you think?
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:382165
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/384694.html