Posted by JohnDoenut on June 23, 2004, at 16:42:19
Hello! So once I was reading this New Yorker or something, you know those political and other cartoons they have in there of a certain dry wit, and some guy was standing in front of an audience saying, so first Ill start with a joke. Well I guess you had to be there.
Anyway, I have rediscovered that Zeppelin has its own magical charms that may just about cure anything. If only for a little while. In a "particular state" of mind which accentuates the music's hypnotic quality. Which perhaps produces endorphins or seratonin or something that sets off the catatonic state aka staring into space. Well Jimmy Page just does that to you sometimes. And Pink Floyd.
I think Im hiding from reality, if there is a reality. Like one where an adult is telling me to grow up and be an adult. Well Im early 40s and I dont think Ive complied. I mean I certainly have put on a good front when I had to go and intermingle with the species and do "work". Now that I am not partaking of that particular societal custom, at the moment, it gets too easy to hide. I mean when I go out of the house, often I am glad and did it and say yea I should get out more often and actually try to do something but then I get stuck at home and dont leave. Sit at the computer in the late afternoon like now. Listen to Zep. Not clean up. Maybe do the dishes. Just floating on a cloud of irresponsibility and ennui. Wondering how long can this last? I mean today I didnt want to inhale and rip aside the fabric of known reality and enter through to the other side. I was saying I have all this stuff to do but if I get obsessed with something I cant forget it until I act on it. And now Im back there, back to 1975 and sitting alone in a darkened room smoking and listening to music, sometimes with the others. And its fine. What else in the world do 15 year olds have to do anyway after school? We lived in a house with other kids who didnt fit in. And now I am back with them, I see them in my mind. I dont know where they are now. I would like to find them but then I think what if I didnt like what I found? I knew this guy who was a hardcore user and a couple years after I left I heard that he had given it all up and become a Jehovah's Witness and gotten married. I couldnt believe it. I heard one guy killed himself. Another was a stock clerk at 28. I was an IT worker. So anyway, I regress. . . I mean digress. What was I saying? I dont remember. I think Im as removed from reality now as I was then. Not as much progress as I wouldve hoped for. I think Ive reached a state of cognitive dissonance, short circuit, and paralysis. But I know there are things I have to get done at 6pm before someone comes home, and make it look as though everything is going fine. So first Ill start with a joke. . .
poster:JohnDoenut
thread:359513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/359513.html