Posted by Scott in Vermont on May 27, 2004, at 10:04:58
In reply to Friends ain't a tv show, posted by partlycloudy on May 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
partlycloudy,I wish I had some words that would change things.
I'm looking for something to say. Right now I just feel... flat. I feel so very badly for you, and I can relate to so many of the things you said, but I don't know how to respond. I don't know how to share my usual cheerful demeanor.
I think today, rather than be a shining light in the darkness, I'll be a companion with you there instead.
I know the hurt that comes with the indifference of others. Small snubs, little cuts, gentle pokes... they are cumulative. Nothing is an individual incident; everything is connected through a web of incredible complexity.
I know the feeling of being the only person on the planet who doesn't "get" the inane office blather ("Hey, did you see what was on TV last night? Have you seen the new pictures I took of my kids? How about that game last week, can you believe that ref? Did you hear that so-and-so is seeing whatshisname? There's a scandal in the making! Hey... where are you going...? Wait.. I'm not done beating you into oblivion with my inane blather!") ... and I know the feeling of being the only person who cares enough to try and understand what I'm going through. I also know the fear of realizing I don't care anymore.
I don't know what the point of my reply here is.
(re-reading your post...)
Ok, I’ve focused again. It is the end of your post that bothered me the most. This right here: "I needed to get this off my chest as I am hurting so very badly. You can only put up with so much rejection before you admit that you are someone that no one wants to spend time with."
I just found my tenacity. I'll share some with you. Try changing your last sentence to "You can only put up with so much rejection before you admit that you are spending time with people who don't appreciate you."
I recognize your feelings, and I am not trying to take them away from you. But I'm a fighter, and I always try to find a different way of looking at things. I know how much it hurts to be rejected. Especially by people who are supposed to be your friends. And I know how easy it is to find friends that aren't really all that healthy for you.
But why is it always “us”? Why is it always “our fault”? Why is it always “our problem” that so many people are superfluous, shallow, and selfish?
It’s not us. We’re different, yes… and sometimes in that difference we have a clarity that eludes others. Sort of on the theory that you don’t appreciate what you have until it is gone. We’ve had our lives taken from us before. We’ve lost so much that was dear to us before. We know how to appreciate a good day because we have had so many horrid ones. We are not perfect by any means, but we understand things more than someone who has never been here. That is why places like Babble exist. No one else really gets us, but we certainly get each other, to some degree at least.
I wish I could give you a huge hug and tell you things will be ok. But I can’t. I don’t know if things will be ok. But I know that wanting them to be ok is an important step.
I don’t feel this is helping. I feel like I’m going in circles and missing the point.
I’m right back to where I started. I wish I had some words that would change things.
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:351036
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/351076.html