Posted by Scott in Vermont on May 26, 2004, at 13:20:17
In reply to A Place In The Sun, posted by Angel Girl on May 26, 2004, at 9:04:46
Angel,
For what it is worth, I read your post and I will say that I can relate through my own experiences. While the specifics would be different, the feelings are very much the same.
I know the pain of being misunderstood, of not being able to communicate my feelings so that people would understand me, and of being rejected by those whom I thought would accept me no matter what.
I'm lucky to have found my place in the sun. But I have faced that darkness more than once, and a few times I went from the sunlight to abject darkness in a very short period of time. I felt myself going down the same slide that you are on now. I knew I was on my way down, I knew I was possibly on my way "out"... and I felt absolutely powerless to do anything about it.
If you have anyone who connects with you on any level right now, talk to them. Even if it is email or IM, it's a real live person on the other end of that screen, and chances are that they do care. You're still sliding, but you haven't hit the bottom yet. Try to dig in right where you are. Try to stop sliding. I know that sounds impossible, especially when you feel that everything you do only makes things worse (been there)... but trust me, anything you do right now can only make things better.
Posting here was a start. Othert people will read this, and respond. There are a lot of decent people here, and we all care in our own way. I don't know you, and I'll never reallyt "know" you, but I do care, because in this one thing, in this bitter miserable hell called depression, you and I share the same spirit. We don't like feeling like this! We didn't ask for things to be like this, we don't enjoy having our lives become utter chaos. In that one thing, we are the same person. Caring about you is caring about myself, and caring about everyone else here.
Be well Angel, and find that person you can talk to. There has to be someone. Share with someone who knows you better than we do. But post here as well, because believe it or not, a complete stranger can have empathy, and can care. And you might find that "stranger" isn't so much of a stranger after all.
-Scott
poster:Scott in Vermont
thread:350711
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040525/msgs/350789.html