Posted by tinydancer on May 13, 2004, at 9:16:04
I just got in from a mini shopping spree, getting ready for the big day this Monday (a special holiday here). Riding busses and trains and waiting by the side of the road leaves one feeling like a big ball of crud. Really looking forward to getting INTO the shower soon and scrubbing myself down until bleeding point. (just kidding.)
For once I thought I would actually post when I was doing GOOD. We forget to do that sometimes, folks. For all my online buddies forgive me for flaking out on emails. It has been a little crazy with computers-our main PC's fan MELTED (nice) and the extra PC doesn't have as much RAM so its dead slow.
What is new with me in therapy? Well, we're still trudging through my feelings for him, and I am glad he takes them seriously enough to talk about them. We got into one of my fantasies about him (can you believe that I'm this brave? I can't) which involved a hotel room and...me following him there. He was so great. He totally indulged me. We talked about what I thought he "should" do. Not what he "would". It was quite the mind challenge actually. I told him that I would want him but not if he didn't acknowledge the "reality" of what we were doing. His response-"Like you would want me to say, "Well, I know its wrong I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life but I can't help myself." I was like going hysterical in my chair and told him I was TOTALLY recording that in my brain for future use. (see how bad I am???)Anyway today I wrote him this:<<Well, what do you think? Am I evil? Did any of my answers really "surprise"
you? After leaving I was
almost panicking because I thought-what if now he thinks differently of
me. MAYBE before he thought I was a nice and good girl, but how can he thinkthat now?>>
His response:
<<No you didnīt really surprise me at all. Still #1.>>
Oh yeah! (wild giggles and clapping)
However I'm very curious as to how I didn't surprise him at all (really). Notice he didn't deny or confirm that he thought I was EVIL...haha...UH OH!!!Hugs to all my Babblers!!
poster:tinydancer
thread:346408
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040507/msgs/346408.html