Posted by shadows721 on April 22, 2004, at 7:12:40
In reply to I hate being human, posted by EtktRide on April 22, 2004, at 1:28:18
I think your real thought is to be perfect and to be perfect at all times. You hate being human, because it means making a mistake. You don't want to make mistakes. You want to be perfect.
Of course, that is not realistic and sets you up for abusing yourself with negative self talk. You analyze yourself continuously internally to watch if you made a mistake. That's were the nervousness comes into play. So much of your energy is put into watching with an internal eye for making a mistake. It is an extremely critical eye. This internal eye is screaning all your moves and what you say. It is very counter productive. Redirect your internal eye onto the external instead of the internal. This part of you is very intelligent. After all, it gave this clever list to be analyzed. So, let's look over this work and put a redirection to each stmt.
"Oh man I screwed up" .....Okay, I made a mistake or So what, I made a mistake. It's no big deal."I got called on it and they are RIGHT"...They showed me what I need to do next time.
"And they were so nice about it, but I am certain that they think I am an idiot"....They really care about me and want to keep me, so they took time out to show me the way they like this done.
"Why does my mouth always get me into trouble when I have such good intentions?"....I express myself well and I have good intentions.
"When am I going to learn self-control?" (Actually, this stmt is all about self-control)...I am going to just be myself.
"I cannot go back after such an embarrassment"..I will do better next time.
"I need external reassurance that I am actually okay"...I am okay just the way I am. I don't need someone's approval.
"Oh I am so pathetic that I need external reassurance"...I don't need someone's approval to know that I am okay just the way I am.
"Okay, I will give in and ask someone to tell me I am okay"...I am okay.
"They tell me I am ok but they don’t really mean it, they are just being nice" (This stmt is playing mind reader. We do not how someone is really thinking unless we clarify it)...They said it was okay.
It's very understandable that you want to do your best at this new job. It means a lot to you, but don't allow negative self talk ruin this learning process. Expect that you will make a mistake during this time and expect you will do better the next time. This is all about perfectionistic view of yourself. You have set a standard of I must be perfect to learn. Hmmm No one can be perfect while learning a new job. That's what learning is all about. You see. You are just learning new things. That is great! So, enjoy being human and learning about this new exciting position. That's what being human is all about.
poster:shadows721
thread:338644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040422/msgs/338717.html