Posted by socialdeviantjeff on March 15, 2004, at 2:24:56
I'm thinking of seeking hospitalization. I'm having delusional thoughts, suicidal ideation, hallucenations, etc. that is becoming too much to deal with. Also, my chronic fatigue and pain is reaching new heights. I am just functioning enough to stay alive. I can't stand it anymore.
I'm thinking an inpatient stay, while no silver bullet, could help. I feel that I can't get the attention and tests I need seeing just a pdoc once a month. The only reason I even see him is because my parents' business is on trade with him. I can't afford my meds, I can't afford therapy and I can't afford a doc for the chronic fatigue and pain. The state is no help. My SSDI app is pending.
The trouble is, I don't think my pdoc will approve my admission. He might but it's doubtful. I talk to him tomorrow. I want to kill myself pretty badly but I know I won't because of my daughter. That aside, this is pure hell.
I don't know how to convince my pdoc I need to go in. The protocol in Utah is that you can only be admitted as an emergency if you are an immediate threat to yourself. I believe at that point it's an involuntary committment. The ground rules change a lot after that. Separation from my daughter without knowing when I'll see her again could be very damaging to me.I feel like doing something extreme (like SI) to get admitted. I don't want it to come to that. I don't know what to do or how to convince my pdoc.
poster:socialdeviantjeff
thread:324489
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040305/msgs/324489.html