Posted by rainyday on March 7, 2004, at 12:49:56
In reply to Energy crisis, posted by Dinah on March 7, 2004, at 12:34:39
> If it's all in my head, why does it feel so *physical*?
>
> Some days I feel like I can get up and tackle work and household chores and still have energy left over.Uh, oh. I found my twin!
>
> Other days, like today, it's hard to drag myself to do anything at all. I take a bath and get dressed, and I'm exhausted. I clean up after the dogs and give pills and my heart's pounding and I'm all sweaty. Yet some days I can move mountains.
>
I went as far as to buy a blood pressure wrist cuff. When my head and hear are pounding, my BP is NORMAL. For me, the physical deterioration during the day is anxiety.> If I'm run down and in bad physical shape, shouldn't I be that way all the time?
>
Yup. So why do have good days and bad... it must be the cyclical nature of the disease.
> And if my physical shape is fine and it's all emotional, why is my heart pounding and body sweating at the slightest exertion? Why is the grogginess so overwhelming that if I sit, I risk nodding off?
>How about the side effects of medication... mine have not evend out yet.
> My therapist says to just do it anyway (my work) no matter how I feel. But some days that advice makes me just want to sit down and cry.
My therapist suggested I plan a mental getaway at lunchtime with a headset and relaxing music or a mantra. Isolate myself and chill out, and see if that improves the exhaustion. My take has been that at work I am trying so hard to get through the day without falling apart, that I get home without the energy to feed myself. I am trying to come across normal so people will just see this productive, relaxed contributor instead of the loser I feel I am.
And sometimes I do cry, and I feel like I am going in reverse. One step forward and half a step back. Right now I try to take advantage of the high energy days or mornings and accomplish as much as I can, then when I start to flag, give in to it. That way at least part of the day was successful.
rainyday
poster:rainyday
thread:321603
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040305/msgs/321612.html