Posted by 8 Miles on February 8, 2004, at 19:36:09
In reply to i have a problem, posted by anya on February 8, 2004, at 0:43:59
First, I too am very sorry that you had to suffer this terrible event. My feelings are mixed as to what to say. Not being a woman, I cannot, perhaps, provide as empathetic a response. To me, what happened to you falls more closely under "date rape" than "sexual assault rape". Whereas you *probably* would have some legal problems proving what happened, and what you wanted/didn't want to happen vs.what actually happened to the authorities, it may still need to be reported to them if for no other reason than to provide info in case this snake is a sexual preditor. From the little I have been able to piece together, I also wonder if there may have been a drug in your wine. I also think the "did you say no?" question, unfortunately,is very critical as to defining what happened to you in a legal context. Even if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and may not have used your best judgment, there are still actions taken that were essentially assault. Proving it would be exceedingly difficult though. This sort of action is a blight on our culture, and further demonstrates that men will continue to lord over women using fear and power (as they have for centuries) to destroy them. Your only viable option now is to find the right counseling so that you can try to begin the healing process. If you address it now, and can find catharsis, maybe, and hopefully, it will not be a shadow looming over you affecting your other life choices. I know from personal experience, that something like this can destroy a marriage, a family and even the will to live if it goes unabated and unresolved. Find the root causes that allowed you to be in this sort of situation. You have value. Please find that value in yourself. I hope this is helpful for you to read.
8
poster:8 Miles
thread:310799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/311034.html