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{{shudder}} Just imagine dinner! » Medusa

Posted by Racer on February 7, 2004, at 18:21:17

In reply to table manners ... obsession?, posted by Medusa on February 7, 2004, at 7:49:50

That post nearly made me wet my pants, I laughed so much reading it. Glad I wasn't drinking anything at the time.

Now that I've gotten my breath back, though, I've got a few things to add to it -- but it's all in addition to the things you've already mentioned:

-- I broke up with a fiance once because of the way he ate. It reminded me of a shark: for example, when he ate a slice of pizza, half the slice would go into his mouth and (I kid not) his eyes would roll back! Social eating is not merely about shoveling food in, and manners exist as both a sign of respect, and a show of cooperation. That's why we're supposed to use better manners with our intimates than with strangers: as a sign that we care enough about them to be respectful.

-- Not using napkins properly. The napkin, in case any of the superior people here aren't yet aware, goes ON YOUR LAP. It does not get tucked into your collar, nor does it stay by the side of the plate. As a further note, in a restaurant, if the napkin is in the center of the place setting, or if silverware is tucked into a napkin on the table, best manners say you put that napkin -- no matter what fancy shape it's folded into -- on your lap when you sit down, not when the waiter is standing over you with your plate waiting until you get that same napkin out of the way.

-- Just because the restaurant provides toothpicks near the tables doesn't mean you really need to pick your teeth at the table.

-- Paper napkins, even at home, are to be used once and thrown away -- not left at your place at the table to be used again. That's what makes them *disposable.*

As for your guest, Medusa, all I can say is read Ogden Nash's Polterguest poem for comfort, and think of the royalties when you finish writing the book.


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