Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 1, 2004, at 22:24:21
Hi all,
Well... I can say that it's a good thing that I don't like foot-ball, I got to save up my rage for something really deserving.
1St. admission. I was not feeling particularly well today. I got curious, and that's always bad. I started looking around the house for interesting items, and I happened along a particular chemical concoction that is used in the maintenance of an animal. (I don't want to give out ideas).
I did a bit of research and found out how much it would take to do my intended task, and then decided to taste it just to see if I could get it down. I guess one of my alters was a bit concerned, and she called a friend.
Our friend was concerned too, and made me promise to call Emergency Services. The first call went ok, but the person there didn't believe in my assessment that the amount I took was harmless, and after we hung up, she called poison control, etc. and She wanted me in the hospital emergency room.
She told me that she would send an ambulance, and I vigorously declined that offer, and told her that I could get a ride. She didn't like that, and again brought up the idea of an ambulance or taxi. I promised that I would get there on my own within 40 minutes, and she said OK.
I'll admit at this point that I was upset, but I called a friend for a ride, got my things together, and went outside to wait. A few minutes later, I hear a siren. I walk to the corner, and along comes the ambulance and it stops at my house. My friend was right behind, as were the police, (two cars) and I got into her car. I told her to just go, but she wanted to let the ambulance crew know where I was.
Well, the ambulance crew wouldn't let me go with my friend. I was SO MAD, I threw my bag down, broke some of the things in it, I was yelling, screaming, and not looking like a sane woman. I felt so betrayed. How are we supposed to trust people when they lie to us? I just wanted to run away.
I got to the hospital, and my friend was there. I think that if she hadn't been, I would have completely lost it and been in restraints. The outcome is that after talking about how much I had taken, it wasn't a dangerous amount. (surprise), and that though the counselor at the hospital (different than 'madam truth is what?) thinks that there is cause for concern, there isn't cause for hospitalization at this point. So, I got to leave, and he got to go finish the super-bowl.
What do you do when a counselor betrays you? Is it OK to tell someone that they can get to the hospital by their own means, and then call an ambulance and police? I know that with what's going on in my life, with the DID, bipolar, etc. that it is likely I'll need to call Emergency Services again, but I'll have to think long and hard before doing so. The people I'm supposed to trust are the ones that I can't.
Oh well, I guess that although life sucks, it's better than football.Dee
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:308342
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/308342.html