Posted by LynneDa on January 13, 2004, at 16:15:38
In reply to I'm getting tired-another venting from yours truly, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 12, 2004, at 1:28:35
Hi Jeff -
Hope you're feeling better today. I know it's hard, where you are, dependent on family and just sick of it all. Loving your daughter is the very best thing you can do. I have a hard time crying anymore too, and I was a huge cry-er! Maybe it's the Lexapro I'm on. Maybe I'm just too tired!I'd like to tell you about my ex, if you don't mind. He is very depressed, functioning, but not well, and has been that way for years. But, he loves our daughter so much. She knows Daddy's not 100% well, but the time they get to spend together when he's feeling up to it is very precious to her (she's 7). Hang in there for her sake. What my daughter gets from her Dad is far better than not having him there at all!!!
Here's something my ex decided he needed to do and it was hard: change his expectations of himself and his life . . . temporarily, he says, til he gets well. He waits tables now. He used to be an $80K per year account exec. Big ego crush. He can't really afford counseling or meds - he's off and on.
He makes lists of things he can do that are within his scope - get the lawn cut, help his neighbor lady with her yard work, remember to call his mom occasionally, plan a picnic for our daughter next time he sees her. We talk about these small accomplishments he has made and that seems to make him feel better. It has been humbling!
Maybe think of your altered mental state as a terrible accident you had that changed your abilities and caused you to re-evaluate yourself. Sounds weird, but it helps me to do this while I try to re-group.
Don't give up!! There are ways you can still contribute and you can still get well . . . keep reaching out for help! I hope this rambling isn't too long and will strike a chord with you somewhere!
~ Lynne
poster:LynneDa
thread:299676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040109/msgs/300297.html