Posted by galkeepinon on October 26, 2003, at 3:58:34
I replied to BarbaraCat over at Substance about her reply to me, but this is really where I need to post.
*Has anyone passed up opportunities because of their excess weight? I weigh 227 now and my highest is 247.
I turned down a Halloween party Saturday night and a date with a very nice and sexy friend Todd, who wanted to watch the Yankees game with me. I want to become closer with him too.
*Why am I doing this? I know part of the reason, may be due to a rape when I was 7, and a break up with my fiance a few years ago. I'm trying to 'Get Over It' but no luck, regarding my weight issue. David is long time married 8 years anyway. I was honest with Todd, but I haven't heard from him since (it's only been a week) I wouldn't blame him, if he is going to ask me out, and I say it has nothing to do with you, decline his offer, I don't blame it if he never asks me out again. I offered to cook him dinner, because he said he is the only one who cooks dinner for himself. We were in IM and rather focused on my weight issues and his job that I am so happy for him about. I told him how I was feeling and he said that society places so much on what we look like, what we weigh yada yada yada. I believe that, but I want to lose weight for my health now, when I was 21, I wanted to for looks, it's not for looks anymore and hasn't been for years. I don't even lay out in the sun much anymore for fear of skin cancer when I was always a sun-worshipper with Baby Oil and Crisco.
I noticed a sore on my left breast that hasn't gone away, so I keep putting Neosporin on it every night in hopes that it WILL go away. I'm noticing new moles and ones that have changed I'm scared.
I'm too young to get a mammogram, my insurance won't cover it.
I just don't know anymore.
Please, if anyone is willing to make comments, I'm open to all of them.
I'm scared and I'm sad, and I'm frustrated.
Thank you.
poster:galkeepinon
thread:273556
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273556.html