Posted by puravida on October 25, 2003, at 0:27:26
In reply to Re: So tell me about adult ADD (LONG!), posted by cybercafe on October 21, 2003, at 2:56:53
Hi Cybercafe and GG,
I haven't been to Dr. Bob's site in awhile - but had posted late last spring about ADD. I am pretty sure it is what has caused most of my angst/depression the past seven years. It all started when I began my sales career - I ws craving freedom, and like I wanted, I got that low structure, and then I beat myself to death with indecision.
I used to be very social (as a child, very insecure, clingy - as a young single woman - very social, seeking approval).
Now I'm in a very structured job - regular hours, usually one very intellectual thing to concentrate on at a time, few interruptions, and sometimes, mundane tasks (like editing/formatting lots of text)as well.
I have been doing much better on Wellbutrin, and with a job where I can be focused. I find, though, that its my personal life that gets me now - I still have to make decisions there.
Which is why I write now - typically (maybe)I have used my friends and my social life to distract me from my real goals. Maybe in a way they were like an addiction to food or alcohol - I was liked, needed, busy.
So now I am trying to get my finances and home in order, and my physical health back. I find that it seems I can only (barely) juggle the three - work, my health & exercise, and my home/finances. When I try to fit in my hobbies and social life I feel overwhelmed, resentful, pressured, and even a bit hopeless.
So - my question- since I am used to the definition of depression being "lack of enjoyment of social activities and hobbies" - how do I know if I am A) slipping into, or setting myself up to, slip into depression or B) just keeping my level of energy and stimuation focused on what seems right to me.
Can either of you identify?
Now that I think of it, I have so many feelings about other people in my life - everything from wanting absolutely no responsibility or accountability towards them, to wanting to contact each and every one and tell them how much I enjoy them, or at the very least, set something to rest. But, the contacting part sems to always remain on my list, and nags at me, and then I feel guilty.
I'd love to hear back from you if this sounds familiar. I hope that my doc (who does beleive in adult AD) can put me on the new Wellbutrin - I have a problem taking meds 2x a day...
PV
> > Sorry, just assumed you were from the US since most people on this board are and you mentioned the NHS. Where you from then?
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> hah, that's okay, we canadians don't mind being mistaken for americans as much as people think ... i just couldn't miss the opportunity to use the term "yank" :)
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> > god, how awful :-( I get really scared sometimes that I actually can't do any job except this one.
>
> maybe you can't (highly unlikely... there's part time or university studies?)...... but then there's always medication...so you have lots of options
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> >I was thinking after my last post that being a news reporter is just perfect cos it imposes all this structure on me that I'm totally incapable of imposing on myself, while being highly stimulating. I worked as a secretary for a year tho and I know what you mean about falling asleep.. I used to go into the toilets and sleep for five or ten minute periods curled up on the cubicle floor! not comfortable At All. It's weird though, cos when my
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> yeah that is a horrible experience... when i started taking ritalin i couldn't believe how easy it was .... i mean these sane people just have things so easy you wouldn't believe!
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> sleep helped a lot though when i was undiagnosed
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> >brain was "switched off" by the repetitive work I couldn't function in other ways either, couldn't talk to people to make it less boring, I'd just fall into a zombie state. God, i was miserable.
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> yep...... i am so thankful i finally have a diagnosis... as soon as this AD takes effect i hope to move back to london and make a ton of money
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> > WOULD it be that easy to get disability for ADHD though? Not sure they even recognise it in Britain... but then, you should be able to get it for depression. i did for a year. i was living on
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> yeah they said disability in the UK depends on your ability to work and if you can't work b/c of depression then you are entitledto disability....... plus i have a whole host of disorders, bipolar + anxiety + adhd ...and i could even argue that i havn't been fully diagnosed yet, start blabbing about cortisol and my need to see an endocronologist or sleep apnea and my need to have a sleep study done :)
> after all the time i've spent on the boards, i'm sure i could BLOW AWAY any interviewer .... usually my first approach is "these meds make me sleep 16 hours a day... -exaggerate horrible side effects- but i don't expect you to believe me.... so if you'd like to try them i could bring them along next visit :) :)"
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> >#45 a week total though cos I hadn't paid any National Insurance at that point (I was 20). In central London. It was a nightmare. I couldn't leave Whitechapel!
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> wow that sounds good.... i used to live in hendon, hoxton and then finsbury park .... i think shopping at iceland? or safeways? i could probably get by on 2 or 3 quid a day worth of food
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>
> > Anyway, thank you for your kind advice! It was interesting what you said about your problems with work, and definitely rang a bell. I hope things improve for you. Are you on meds for it?
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> yep i'm on ritalin... but i'm not currently working until i find a suitable AD .... which should happen in about 2 hours (going back on parnate) :)
>
> PLEASE tell me the IT market in london is good :)
poster:puravida
thread:270614
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273002.html