Posted by paxvox on July 12, 2003, at 15:56:07
In reply to to suicide survivors..., posted by yesac on July 12, 2003, at 15:06:50
Been *close*, but have never tried to act on it SPECIFICALLY. Your observation that those who have not succeeded in their attempt at suicide (or have quelled that burning desire when it seemed the only thing left to do...as in my case..) actually are RELIEVED that they didn't/couldn't do it (or were saved through medical intervention) is important. I'm glad that you have discovered that. My spin on the subject is that suicide is a desperate act generally falling under one of two "types" of modality. The first, being the rash (largely unpremeditated)
action of someone suddenly overwhelmed by a situation, such as a reaction to a death in the family or the end of a relationship, job, etc... My belief is that THESE are the people who could more easily have been *saved*, and who WOULD feel better later that they had not succeeded in their attempt. The second group would be those who have dwelled on the idea for a long time. Have obsessed with it, and actually planned out the whens and hows (but the whys.....I'm not so sure). They may have come close several times, then changed their mind, or had some intervention taken by someone else. They tend to try more than once. In my case, it was living life vicariously, flirting with dangerous activities, abusing drugs and alcohol. I really did not care if I died, because my perceived quality of life was so horrid. I did not take DIRECT actions to end my life, but was clearly on a self-destructive path that probably WOULD have resulted in my death if I had not changed things. These are the ones who are so unsure about life, because it has become more existance than living, and the existance has become increasingly unbearable. Still, even this sort of person can look back later (once their perspective has changed) and be glad that they never acted it out. Suicide is to a degree, the last bit of control someone has on a life gone haywire, where they have very little, if any, control over what goes on in their world. Some use it for the "last word" in a sort of vengeful way to hurt the ones that have hurt them. All in all, I still am convinced that suicide is a selfish act. The only situation in which I would even marginally think it *acceptable* would be in the case of a person with a terminal illness in extreme pain w/o ANY chance for recovery, merely to put an end to their suffering, and to have the "say" on when DEATH will have its way. Still, there are moral implications in suicide even in these sort of situations. Strangely,if you were to ask someone about to die from illness what they thought about life, most would say they wished they had lived it out better when they did. They would also, most likely, be willing to trade their situation for almost anything to avoid the suffering of a lingering death. Is that feeling better about not dying? Sorry for the rambling on. But this question of life and living plagues so many of us. Personally, I'm glad to be alive even though my life sort of sucks right now. It is only in the HOPE that tomorrow will bring a brighter day that allows me to keep those thoughts in perspective. Live life not from the memories of the past, but in your dreams for the future.
PAX
poster:paxvox
thread:241225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/241243.html