Posted by kara lynne on July 10, 2003, at 0:29:56
In reply to Because I said so. , posted by gabbix2 on July 9, 2003, at 23:49:33
Hey Gabbi,
How are things going for you? Did you hear from him yet?Yes, you're right about the release thing. I need to do something where I feel my own worth in the world--I wish that didn't sound like such nonsense to me right now.
He's just so casual in his emails, it makes me want to tear my hair out. I'm sure he gets off on this, it was sort of a dynamic in the relationship. I would request anything up from comatose for a response and he would call me demanding.
That's the thing--there's no-one to argue with. There's no-one home, at least for me. I don't know how he manages to be such a force in his work, but he does. I just want him to tell me that he loves me, like he's lied for the past five years, so I can go back into that nice, narcotic state of denial. I want to hear all those things, like that we're going to be together forever, and I'm his girl and alla that.
This is so pathetic. He's not even giving me a bone to chew--the signs couldn't be more glaring: DEAD END.
I'll use anything I can--imagery is good. 98lbs.vs 200, ok, I'll take it. His last email he asked if I was moving in with anyone (roommate), how the cat was, the general area I was moving if I didn't want to tell him the exact address. I ignored it completely. He said he was glad to be moving out of the house we were in together because he was missing me there. Now why didn't that make me feel better?
He moves Monday to his new digs; even the address and phone numbers sound made up, they're so poetic. Off he goes, into his tantalizing new world where he will no longer be shackled by the agoraphobic downer.
Oh God, just smack me in the head and put me out of my misery.
My landlady suddenly doesn't understand English when I ask about getting my deposit back. That's $1,135 worth of Fharsi that I don't understand. It's really got me concerned.
I will email you, aren't you lucky--- Love K.L.
poster:kara lynne
thread:240455
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/240465.html