Posted by noa on June 10, 2003, at 19:27:51
In reply to Re: Expectations of the board with suicidal ideation, posted by paxvox on June 10, 2003, at 18:44:28
I feel like all I CAN say to support someone here who is suicidal is "Go get help." I don't think this board is equipped to do more than that.
Mostly, I think people can share their struggles with suicidal feelings and get a lot of support here, but it will never be the kind of support that will keep them safe when they cannot keep themselves safe.
Mostly, I think people do share their struggles and get support. And give support too.
But I think sometimes the crying out process can be very frustrating to others if the person rejects help, or "dumps and runs" or 'dumps' and then rejects help and then returns in a better mood as though nothing happened. And, of course, we recently had a situation where I think a person was truthfully suicidally agitated but not truthful with us about their subsequent safety, etc., and people felt very manipulated.
All of which can cause serious compassion fatigue, I think. And I don't necessarily judge any one who does any of those things as a bad person or anything, and I tend to see this kind of behavior as a symptom of how distressed they really must be, which breaks my heart! But the behavior also does have the potential to anger me, maybe because it seriously pushes my own helplessness buttons. And break my heart though it might, I might have to withdraw from a discussion if this happens because I can't let my own inner resources be depleted.
I can participate in support discussions about our struggles with suicidal feelings, but with messages that are imminently suicidal, I feel all I can do is urge the person to get "bricks and mortar" help immediately. If they refuse to, it can really press my own helplessness buttons, and then I might feel like I have to take care of myself and withdraw from the discussion.
poster:noa
thread:232914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/233022.html