Posted by JohnDoenut on June 7, 2003, at 1:14:02
In reply to Mildly Sociopathic, posted by kara lynne on June 3, 2003, at 1:06:52
> Tonight my boyfriend (strange, foreign, inappropriate usage of that word) is out with over the top beautiful people. People who are not only out of my league, but in a league I'm not sure I'd ever want to be in. Yet I feel myself going into a huge distortion, fantasizing about all the brilliance and beauty and sexual vibes going on between them all. No longer does it matter that he gives me nothing, that the relationship is dying, my entire reality is funneled into this threatening little scenario that I've blown into a full scale orgy at this point. Replete with lesbian chic actresses and genius artists whose work I should always have more to say about but can't ever seem to.
>Oh my god your description of your state of mind and events is completely brilliant!
I got completely where you are coming from.
I've had this happen to me too!!!
What is sociopathic anyway? What you
talk about doesnt sound like it.
Its more like being angry, being in state of mind
more prone to agonizing and being bothered by
idiots and not having enough space. I've had
times where I almost went insane over something
but somehow managed not to. Except in a few cases
where I did explode but nothing too bad came out
of it.Please seek out whatever you need to get better, a doctor, friends, therapist, group therapy something!
Stop the suffering. Let the bad man go!
Help yourself so you can be with more nurturing and caring people!> And yet there's that niggling voice telling me if only I were just that perfect enough woman... Even if I can't be some vampy, 5'9" tall, larger than life woman out of a Roger Rabbit cartoon, if I were just perfect enough in other ways then it would all work out.
>
> So I think I'm becoming mildly psychotic.
> How do I make myself more important? What am I missing? How could I go to dinner when I couldn't get through an office job today without crying in the bathroom?
>Our society does this to people. It makes people
think that they are not good enough as they are.
That they need more of this or that or they should
be a certain way to be happy and its all nuts!
Its crazy! People werent meant to live
like this! They were meant to farm land and
hunt for food and live in an agrarian society.
Not a mechanized cold world where our brains are
bombarded with technoblitz after blitz. Gotta
just shut it off! Tune it out! Like yourself as you are, you are good enough as you are.!JohnD
poster:JohnDoenut
thread:231001
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030604/msgs/232089.html