Posted by ST on June 1, 2003, at 18:22:02
In reply to Re: Girls: Frank talk about sex, depression and meds, posted by babs on May 21, 2003, at 18:56:07
I do what you do! I go through periods where I am questioning constantly "Is he the One", etc etc..
The fact that you cannot orgasm with him has no bearing on how much you love him or how right he is for you. I have the same issues with my boyfriend (we've been together over 5 years) and what I've learned is this: we have different sexual connections with each person. The most amaaaaaaazing sex I ever had was with someone who is soooooo wrong for me. But we had this chemistry. Other women I talk to say the same thing: Often the one you end up with who is loving and loyal and understanding and sticks by you even when you're so depressed you can't get out of bed (like your boyfriend and mine)is the one you need to work a little harder with at sex. There is nothing weird about having to work at the sex. I've had to with my guy and it has gotten better and better!And yet it came (so to speak!) so easily with other men. It's a strange thing, but I wouldn't count him out because of the sex. It will get better. And he sounds like a keeper.
I did notice that withe each SSRI I've gone on, at first I cannot orgasm, and then eventually that side effect goes away. Important: Can you have vaginal orgasms or clitoral or both? If it's the vaginal you want when you're having sex, that may be harder on an SSRI, but a clitoral one while having sex is possible. Use the toys while you're with him. And what about "taking care of youself" while you are having sex? Do you feel comfortable touching yourself in fron tof him? Some women don't...
Anyway..good luck! I think you're on the right track.
Sarah
> I should mention that I have OCD as well as depression and one of the ways that it manifests itself is through obsessions about my realtionship (lucky me, huh?). I'm always afraid I'll get a sign that there is something wrong with our relationship when in fact I love my boyfriend very much, he's wonderful and we probably belong together forever. we've been together for 5 years and he has been incredibly understanding and loving. I'm always searching for signs that it's not right or he's not "the one" and that's what's happening right now. I'm afraid that because I don't orgasm with him it means that something is wrong with our relationship or I really don't love him. These toys were supposed to enahnce our sex life, not make me any more anxious than I already am. Oy vey!
poster:ST
thread:228158
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/230639.html