Posted by bozeman on March 25, 2003, at 22:40:33
In reply to Re: ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow, posted by Dinah on March 25, 2003, at 18:21:53
However . . . . the "queen of passive aggressive" part of me wonders if that was the response your therapist was *trying* to get out of you . . . for you to roll over and show your soft underbelly and beg for forgiveness so he can tell you it's unneccessary . . . . and that instead of inner-directed anger, maybe what would be healthy for you and healthy for your therapeutic relationship would be for you to stand up and yell at him (not throw things, just state yourself firmly and clearly and probably loudly) that how dare he get mad at you and expect you to conform to his expectations? If this is traditional psychotherapy (and forgive me, I don't remember if you're doing CBT with him, I assumed not from the longevity of your therapeutic relationship with him) -- if this is traditional psychotherapy isn't the client "in charge" so to speak, with the therapist helping you do "guided" psyche-spelunking so you don't hurt yourself? Isn't this your therapy and your nickel and not his discussion hour? Why should he get mad at you at all?
Then there's the part of me that tells the veteran passive aggressive b*tch in me to put her muzzle back on and go to her corner until she can learn to play nice with others. :-) You know your situation far better than I, and what's best for you. I, too, have dealt with lifelong issues of ridiculous unfounded inadequacy crises and fear of abandonment. And I full well know it's one thing to *intellectually* know that those fears are unfounded, and to *emotionally* release them so they have no power over you. And I know all too well how poisonous inner-directed anger can be (my doctor wryly reminds me of this regularly. :-)
Dinah, I really do feel for where you are, and hope you can find a positive way you feel good about to resolve this without sacrificing your own adult position in your relationship (with your therapist.)
Hugs
bozeman
poster:bozeman
thread:212663
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030322/msgs/212798.html