Posted by Greg A. on February 26, 2003, at 12:24:47
In reply to Re: ECT, pain and advice » Greg A., posted by Bipolarsux on February 26, 2003, at 5:32:05
Thanks BPsux for the thoughts on thyroid and ECT. Like you, I did some reading before agreeing to ECT – but not too much because I was so desperate to do something that would get me out of my depression. It is highly unlikely that I experienced any thyroid over-activity. I am on thyroid replacement and have been for 20 years. After initial treatment of my hyperthyroidism (radioactive iodine) I went hypothyroid almost immediately and have very little natural thyroid activity. Hence the replacement therapy. I have my thyroid levels monitored regularly.
The symptoms of ‘feeling worse’ were definitely not akin to being hyperthyroid. I was off all ADs before and during the treatment period and I am sure that as soon as the initial enthusiasm of thinking I would be cured by ECT wore off I became extremely depressed. It was initially an agitated depression leading my doc to change my diagnosis to BPII.
How did ECT affect me? I certainly don’t mind talking about it but I don’t know where to begin. At the beginning, perhaps? I have been on ADs for most of the last 15 years with limited success. Good periods here and there. Mostly lousy but I had noticed that in recent years each depressed episode was longer and more severe. My doc had asked me about ECT a number of times and I had always said that I ‘wasn’t that bad yet.’ It became almost a standing joke of how to assess my condition. “Ready for ECT yet?” Last September I said YES. We discussed the possible affects of the treatments, how long I would be off work and so on.
Things that caught me by surprise or worried me:
That I would need a minimum of 8 and most likely 14 to 16 treatments. I was expecting 3 or 4 for some reason.
That the memory loss could be almost total for the treatment time and also affect some longer term aspects
That doc said I would be hospitalized for the entire treatment time. I had been admitted to the psych ward before and did not want to spend a month or more there.
General anesthetics worry me – I have had several ‘regular surgeries’ done with spinals to avoid them so the prospect of 16 sessions bothered me.But generally I was enthused about trying ECT. I managed to talk my doc into doing all but the first 2 treatments as an outpatient providing I reacted okay. The rest of the concerns - I just accepted as a necessary thing to get better.
Comments on treatments:
First session I asked doc what kind of ECT I was getting. They did unilateral just to see how I reacted. Second session I had to remind him to do bilateral. He just switched electrodes like he had hooked up a car battery wrong.
Bit of a headache – nothing much else. I had kept a journal with things I thought I might forget – like where my car was parked etc. No problems there.
Doing treatments as an outpatient was no problem. Just a ride to and from the hospital and join the line-up for treatment.
Felt pretty good the first couple of weeks – energized and enthused for first time in a long while. Worked on home renovation projects. I had between 2 and 3 treatments per week.
Third week I noticed memory gaps. I had no idea where I had purchased materials for home renos or what I had done inside wall for wiring etc. I was like someone else had done the work while I was away. I also noticed that despite my increased energy level and need for less sleep, I was feeling quite low emotionally. Needed almost no sleep for days on end. Would go to bed at 11:00 and be up by 2:00 reading at first except then I couldn’t focus to read. Watching TV. Surfing.Later associated a lot of this with hypomania.
Was able to accept the memory loss okay although it was frustrating. Pick up a book you had read the day before and go to the bookmark and have no idea what had happened previously. Someone would refer to a recent conversation and I had no idea what took place.
After lucky 13th treatment I told my doc ‘enough.’ I was feeling so low as well as very agitated. I was very suicidal. Most I have ever been. I could see no other way out and as a fellow sufferer put it to me, “you are not only depressed and suicidal, but you have the energy to make plans and carry them out!”
This of course is not typical of ECT where it is often used with suicidal patients because of its ability to provide quick and considerable relief. So please don’t take me as the typical case.
Things I had not counted on:
The stigma of ECT – I told everyone – I should have told only a few. You can tell people that you take Prozac and they go so what; doesn’t everyone? ECT is a different story.
The memory loss and confusion when I returned to work. I couldn’t remember events from the treatment period but simple things from before. My password on my computer. Who certain people were. I got a lot of long pauses when people drew a blank with simple questions posed to me. This has improved but there are still some gaps. Doc had said I would be off work for 5 or 6 weeks but did not mentioned I would be non functional at work for another 6 weeks after.
The whole thing was compounded by being in the worst depression of my life. If the ECT had greatly benefited me, my entire recollection would likely be different. I think what it did was induce a hypomanic state which subsequently turned into severe depression. After thinking about it. Hypomania was not a new thing. I have experienced it before and associated it with feeling better. In reality I knew it was not ‘normal.’Like Shelli, I don’t regret going through ECT. I always would be wondering if it would be the answer. There seems to be no lasting side effect that I cannot accept or deal with, other than the fact that too many people know.
Apologies for the long response, but you did ask!
Greg
poster:Greg A.
thread:201088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030223/msgs/204022.html