Posted by syringachalet on February 1, 2003, at 21:15:07
In reply to Re: Try to understand OTHER'S view » jay, posted by jane d on February 1, 2003, at 12:46:34
Jay and All,
I would be lying to myself and you if I said I wasnt a tiny bit bigoted or prejudiced about most issues brought up on this site.
This simple issue of what a 'redneck' is just one very basic example.I try to remember that most of the 'rednecks' I know pay their taxes, treat their familys with love and respect and obey the laws as they stand (even if they dont always agree) until those laws are changed in a court of law or by another branch of our government.
I think that for me, in my dealings with some of the special population I work with in the corrections system, tolerance is a word that is the cornerstone for communications and functional relationships.
I dont not have to like, agree or accept your opinions or way of life. But as long as it doesnt cause harm to anyone else and all partys involved continue that have their OWN free choice to accept or decline your ideas, then I am more
than willing to tolerant your thoughts and actions. For me to attempt anything else, would be a waste of my time and yours.I am sure, no doubt, that you all already know that only time someone else has control over you and your life is if that person(s) have something that you feel you need or want.
If you feel you need acceptance or approval of that person, you also need to decide just what is it worth to you.I had a client tell me just the other day that she had turned her whole life upside down to please someone she admired and then she was hurt deeply when they didnt share in her commitment to their relationship. Obviously, the realtionship was much more valuable to her than it was to them.
All I ask is for each of us to take a moment and look deep inside ourselves and ask, Is all the effort I am putting into this job, relationship, etc REALLy worth it in the end?
Will my life be that much different if I do it
or not?
For many things in life, for me, tolerance is the first step to having a functional relationship with anyone.
If that person that you care so much about doesnt value your relationship as much as you, are you able to accept that status?
(No cant ever make someone else love or genuinely repect them if that other person cant do it on their own.)
For me the chain has always been... tolerance, acceptance and hopefully understanding...
.. as being a 'redneck', my grandmother used to say these two things...1) Maybe you should ask yourself," Is the price of these eggs to high?( Is it really worth all this?)
2) Never try to teach a pig to sing.....
it wastes your time and annoys the pig... LOl
syringachalet
poster:syringachalet
thread:35991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030201/msgs/36132.html