Posted by wendy b. on January 31, 2003, at 16:06:02
In reply to 'Rock' solid...-----all, posted by jay on January 31, 2003, at 11:27:26
You know, Jay, I think every situation is different. I never came out and told anyone at my former job that I had depression/anxiety/bipolar, but, when I took two months off on short-term disability, I provided them with all the proper doctor's notes and forms that were required. Still, when I came back and asked for accommodations, they refused me (this was an Ivy-League university), and then they put enough letters of warning in my file for being "recalcitrant" and "insubordinate" that they then had their pretext for firing me. You'd have thought people at a university would know better, but they don't, they're no more enlightened than anybody else - in fact, I think even less so.
I had reservations about telling everybody that I has my particular illnesses, because I was afraid of being stigmatized. I don't really think this is cowardly, just self-protective, given my circumstances and the particular people I had to deal with.
So now I'm sueing them for flagrant violations of the ADA. The person who supervised me (a department chair) said under oath that she had *never* been trained in ADA. This is someone who managed a lot of people, including faculty. Then the VP for HR there said point-blank, under oath, that they didn't even offer it to chairs, and just posting the provisions of the ADA on the university web site was enough... Amazing!Anyway, for more info, look at the thread above:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030120/msgs/35945.html
Take care,
Wendy
>
> Folks,
>
> This may sound completely backwards...and I really don't have the 'answer'. But, I have found that not divulging even an 'inch' of info about myself to anybody except my closest friends, in particular at work, makes things the best and easiest for me. I share little, if nothing, when I can, involving the actual 'work' I do. I know it sounds lousy, and backwards, but my thought of my job is, I go in and do my work to get my money, and I go home. And this is coming from a guy who is in social work!
>
> See, I used to be "Mr. VERY Open", and talked about most things with almost everybody, but now it is only a VERY select person or two. That's because I got twisted, mangeled, and had everything and any little thing used against me. People and their politics at work...it's just horrific! People can be (even the best of people!) and often are judgmental, uptight, anal, highly conservative and narrow-minded.
>
> OK..maybe it sounds pessimistic and negative, but it will keep you from getting 'burnt'..and getting 'burned out'. You can still be funny, warm, and nice, and not be rude about things, but taking this 'actively passive' role I think is healthiest for us with mental illness issues. It can also keep us sane in the craziest of places. Forget trying to 'people please'...and be 'charming'...worry about yourself and being good to yourself. Keep people guessing...don't reveal *anything*..and they will NEVER have anything on you!
>
> Jay
poster:wendy b.
thread:35944
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030120/msgs/35994.html