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power and love and destruction » kid a

Posted by Alii on January 27, 2003, at 14:54:08

In reply to Re: [] SPEAK UNTO MY HEART A LIGHT OF SUNS [] » Alii, posted by kid a on January 26, 2003, at 22:03:01

Thank you dear one for such lovely words.

I'm still reeling from how love can be ripped right from one's soul. I thought I was fairly numb from the ADs I take and I thought I was dissociated most of the time....or only recently became aware of how dissociated I have been a lot of the time....but to feel my heart hurt so much is beyond anything I thought I could handle.

I had forgotten how much heartache really does hurt and how it can make the darkest of my depressions seem downright sunny and like a fucking cake walk.

The tears are lessening. The pain is constant. But for now I'm still planning on seeing my birthday roll around this year.

~A.

P.S. I am trying to come through this without medical intervention so reminders are essential to help me remember that pills won't fix this. Time might....


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poster:Alii thread:35788
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030120/msgs/35849.html