Posted by Phil on January 18, 2003, at 21:06:39
In reply to Paranoid, posted by agencypanic on January 18, 2003, at 20:17:02
> Well, I'm not even sure how to begin this post. I've dealt with depression as well as paranoia, took zoloft,haldol and ativan for a while a number of years ago.
> Since November I've been taking zoloft again and am not sure that it's really helping. I'm taking 50mg, but when I bump it up to 75mg I begin to feel bad.>>>Try another SSRI, Z may not work as well the second time. You sound like a good candidate for Paxil. Helps social phobia, etc.
I'm taking about 1mg of ativan before bed to help with sleep. At the same time, I'm
> unemployed, in debt, and just in general very unhappy. And I go through periods of extreme paranoia--I've traced this at times to lack of sleep and food, but when I'm in that state, it's difficult
> to 'remember' that these are precipitating factors. But even when I correct this recently, I still find myself very ill at ease.>>>I would also suggest Klonopin to strongly consider with your doctor.
> Today I participated in an anti-war march and found myself, my socially anxious self, surrounded by thousands of people.
> And I felt as though I didn't deserve to be there, that if people knew my innermost secrets that noone would tolerate my presence.
> What's more I sometimes feel as though people DO know these secrets.>>>That's common. People out in the world all wear a game face. You are looking at their faces and comparing that to how you 'feel' inside. Chances are, others are doing that while looking at you.
There was a book out years ago called, I think, "The Imposter Syndrome". We often see our identity of an imposter (I can't believe I'm marketing manager, I wonder how long I can fool people. But your company obviously believes in you.) Visualization helps me with those feelings. See the outcome of a job interview as very successful in your mind and burn that image into your unconscious.
It also helps me, since I'm not very flexible in life, to try to imagine the interview and prepare myself for anything. Will I interveiw in a conference room, restaurant, big office, small office with one person, 3 people...
In short, I prepare my responses to whatever situation I might find myself in.
I used to be afraid to go to restaurants in my early 20's, you know, with a date. I always saw people "staring at me." It wasn't till I realized that if I focused my attention on the poor woman who was out with me that I no longer looked around at others. Nobody was staring at me, I was staring at them. : )
Focus on getting a job and you'll be surprised what you can do.
I know a few guys my age, 49.75, that quit good paying stressful high tech jobs, before the bust.
They took jobs like cashier at a convenience store, part time cabbie and for now are happy and know they'll get by.
The world is full of options and you are obviously someone who cares so don't give up.
Everytime suicide crosses your mind, give us 25 push-ups. If you ruminate, you'll be very fit.Phil
poster:Phil
thread:35464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35466.html