Posted by Krysti on January 2, 2003, at 23:40:05
In reply to Re: Need some help, not sure if anything will help..., posted by Krysti on January 2, 2003, at 23:34:42
Meant to post this on psycho-social-babble...[ English |Deutsch |Français |Italiano |Português |Español ] by Babel Fish
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Need some help, not sure if anything will help...
Posted by Krysti on January 2, 2003, at 23:31:40right now though. I have always considered myself as a strong person and really want to be a strong person for myself and for others. Feel like I am losing it though and really don't know what to do right now. I really want a "cure-all" answer and know I'm not going to get it. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 6 months ago and thought it was the answer to all my problems. Thought I could just take meds and everything would be better. Unfortunately, hasn't happened. I feel like I am worse off than I was before. Before, I always felt like I was fighting against something and at least sometimes winning, now I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. Even though the meds make me more stable, I have felt the fight draining out of me now that I know what I am up against. Nothing brings me pleasure anymore. Even when I am on meds that make me feel better, I don't feel content. I feel like I can no longer strive for happiness for myself, because it is just not achievable any longer. I really don't want to kill myself because I know the pain it will bring to others and what good will that do? And I'm afraid for myself also, because I feel like I will burn in hell forever then anyway. I feel like maybe my purpose in life is to try to bring happiness to others, but I don't know how. I also feel that I am being a hypocrite to other people if I volunteer for something to bring them happiness when I cannot even do it for myself. Does this make sense? The only purpose right now that I can see in my life is to try to make other people's lives better. I'm just not sure how to go about doing that. I am definitely not a good enough person to volunteer in a hospital and changing people's bedpans or anything. I want to do good for other people, but selfishly, something I might enjoy also (I hope this doesn't sound horrible.) If anyone has any suggestions, I would be much appreciable.
Thank you for any suggestions,
Krysti
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Need some help, not sure if anything will help... Krysti 1/2/03
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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021230/msgs/134237.html
poster:Krysti
thread:34414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34415.html