Posted by mikhail99 on December 31, 2002, at 13:09:44
In reply to Re: Therapist Infatuation - Revisited, posted by syringachalet on December 31, 2002, at 12:48:51
> dear mikhail99,
>
> I am honored that you shared this personal struggle with us here.
> I have been on both sides of this situation and having a patient tell me that he has deep feelings for me was a rather enlightening position to be in. I felt honored (and a bit flattered) that he felt comfortable enough and trusted me enough to share such vulnerable feelings.
> I also felt that I had to maintain my professional boundaries for the sake of my patients health and my professional ethcincs and career.
> We talked about his letter to me on his
> next visit. He said he felt really embarassed; he said he almost canceled his appt. I told him I was glad he didnt. That i was honored that he felt he could trust such tender feelings with someone who cared about him also as a human being but out of respect for him and professional etchnics I could not have a personal relationship with any of my pateints.
> I also shared with him that I saw him a a strong young man who had come to me for me for help. That any health care professional that would cross the line and have an imitime realtionship with a patient would be breaking one of the greatest codes of etchnis I knew and that I respected him and our realtionship too much for that.
>
> In reflection now, I think he handled it really well. it was our trsuted relationship that has enabled him to test out new ideas for his real life realtionships..'bounce ideas and stuff' off me to see if 'it might fly'.. as he put it.
> He still calls me his "favorite realtiy check".
> I have always tried to use honesty with kindness when dealing with very sensitive subject as this.
>
> I have had only one relationship,personally, that caused me grief.
> I had a female counselor once put her hand on my thigh and try to kiss me. At the time, I was having a very rough time in my personal life and had even taken two weeks off from my work to get refocused and back on track.
> I too have boundary issues in my personal life.
> But I am still working on those and am glad that they dont cross over into my professional life.
>
> I bet your therapist, mikhail99, will want to talk with you about this and please dont see he letting you down easy as a rejection. He must be a very nice person for you to care so deeply for him and if he has your best interest in mind he will know that these feelings were hard for you to share...being so vulnerable.. and he will respect the patient-therapist relationship and not be unkind..just honest with caring.....
>
> syringachaletThank you for your perspective, it's interesting to hear from someone who's been on both sides of the issue. I fully anticipate that he will gently go over boundaries with me and we'll have some good discussions from it. I have these thoughts and feelings but I honestly don't expect anything from him other than our relationship to continue as it's been. It's just so embarrassing, it makes me feel like an adolescent and I'm almost 40!
I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience with your own therapist. I hope you were able to find someone else to help you. I don't think YOU were the one with boundary issues!
Thanks again for your kind post!
Mik
poster:mikhail99
thread:34251
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021226/msgs/34256.html