Posted by Medusa on August 26, 2002, at 1:25:52
In reply to Re: maybe this should be on psycho-psycho - ? » Medusa, posted by judy1 on August 25, 2002, at 13:19:24
> I don't think it matters where you post this, so don't worry.
Thanks - I didn't know if there was a rule against posting specifics.
>I think my older sister feels a lot like you (guilt for not protecting me) but I certainly have no anger or any negative feelings towards her. She didn't hurt me, she couldn't protect me, all she can do now is try and take care of
> herself (like you).
Wow, this is really helpful to read from your perspective.
> Guilt can eat you alive, so that is where I
>would start in therapy.I'll keep this in mind. A lot of therapists have theories like "guilt is suppressed anger" - okay, interesting, but then I need to talk about this suppressed anger, not move on to the next platitude!
>Have you discussed this with your sister at all?Not in recent years. I should probably ask her about it sometime. I don't want to trigger stuff for her either. She's the age now that I was when I found out, and ... I don't know. I'm afraid to ask. She probably wouldn't bring it up either though, for fear of setting ME off.
>I want her to know I don't blame her, I blame
>the person who did it to me.Can you write her a letter? One of my brothers just wrote me a letter, not about this, but about other stuff, and it felt really ... absolving. He's a PITA in a lot of ways (a real know-it-all) but that letter is precious.
Thanks Judy, for your perspective and kind words.
M
poster:Medusa
thread:29250
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020820/msgs/29285.html