Posted by Gabbi on July 31, 2002, at 16:29:59
In reply to boo hoo, posted by Ctrlaltndel : ( on July 31, 2002, at 14:07:40
Theoretically I'm a feminist, all though this depression has turned me into a vulnerable lonely sobbing wreck, who doesn't have near the standards she used too.
Yeah, my ex, last time I saw him was in March, he got a little too aggressive in bed (fine for some guys, but to me he too was a father figure) I burst into tears, cause he just wasn't supposed to want to be rough.
He actually stopped and apologized and just held me, I've never had anyone do that for me before, the usual reaction is "why are you getting all weird on me"I've only talked to him a few times since, I phone just to hear is voice on the answering machine, it sounds so reassuring. He's nice always but always kindly reminds me that I want more than he can give and sadly its not even an excuse, I do suck the life out of people.
Every once in a while I feel healthy and positive, so I call him thinking okay I can handle just a casual friendship,be fun, lighten up then I crash again, and I become someone he worries about, wants to help, but doesn't want as a partner.
I still think about the last time I was with him and the tenderness and how safe it felt, and cry like a little kid.
poster:Gabbi
thread:27690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020728/msgs/27697.html