Posted by SandraDee on July 27, 2002, at 16:01:11
In reply to Re: Definately not an expert... » SandraDee, posted by fiona on July 27, 2002, at 15:28:21
On the same bowling league. Just kidding, my mom doesn't go bowling anymore. My mom sounds so similar. I feel very similar to what you described also. Like I'll never measure up to her standards. I hope I don't do that to my daughter. And *IF* she ever gives a compliment, it's a kiss followed by a slap. I mean, "Your hair looks great, BUT are you really going to wear those jeans?" Or "I love your scrapbooks, BUT couldn't that money be better used elsewhere?" It's never a nice thing alone. Always with a big fat negative downer. I am SOOO breaking that cycle. Anyhow, good luck with finding a way to talk to your mom. It would be lovely if she would listen objectively.
Something Montel uses as his motto that I love is:
"Speak without offending, listen without defending." Maybe you could start with something like that? So she'll really try to listen without getting defensive. (something I need to work on too...) It's a great motto, don't you think?
poster:SandraDee
thread:27379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020722/msgs/27402.html