Posted by Phil on June 15, 2002, at 18:59:33
In reply to Re: jesus ..i'm dying here..as in laughter !!!! (nm), posted by ctrlalt n del on June 15, 2002, at 18:00:26
Here's another sensational story.A Dr. Bob, a psychiatrist here in Chicago, will be handling Keith's vocals tonight as Richard's is on guitar. Keith's two year battery went dead
on his bio-engineered plastic-titanium vocal cord box and the manufacturer has no backup. Charlie Watt's made the call for Keith to the U of C doctor who invented the device. Keith mouthed the words as Charlie, normally laid-back fantastic drummer of the Stones, had to scream the words for Keith. Laced with vugarity and seething with anger, Watts ate 4 Valium after the call.
Well, the bio-engineer without enough brains to make the replacement battery said his best beer-swigging buddy, Dr Bob could sound exactly like Keith. Mick and the boys were playing Comiskey in 22 hours so they auditioned the Dr. and to quote Keith,"--- --- ----- ------- m--- -----!!?"
Mick said it's a deal, they would open the show with 'Happy', lyrics below, with Dr Bob on lead vocals.
When asked how he felt the unlikely rock star said,"Na, na, na, nervous. I f,f,f,f feel ssssick."
As we speak, he's in wardrobe getting his artificially large crotch prosthesis..standard issue for all rocker's since Zepplin. The rest of the wardrobe will be Spandex and silk.
Dr Bob asked why he couldn't wear some Docker's and golf shirt. Keith shot up out of his chair with his Fender about ready to smash the doctors head. At the same moment, Mick walked by and the guitar crashed into Jagger's head. Jagger said he didn't feel anything. The wood man laughed so hard he fell over backwards in a folding chair with 3 lit cigarettes is his mouth and a bottle of Maalox in his hand. The, now medicated Watts said,"He, he som birch got it on the 'ead."
The Stone's were now ready to ROCK!!The cords began to Happy and The Dockta, Mick liked him, channelled the words. It was a great show. Later, Keith said in a tiny whisper,"Yeah, but can he play the bloody guitar?"
Happy
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)Well I never kept a dollar past sunset,
It always burned a hole in my pants.
Never made a school mama happy,
Never blew a second chance, oh noI need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.Always took candy from strangers,
Didn't wanna get me no trade.
Never want to be like papa,
Working for the boss ev'ry night and day.I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love, baby won't ya keep me happy.
Baby, won't ya keep me happy.
Baby, please keep meI need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.Never got a flash out of cocktails,
When I got some flesh off the bone.
Never got a lift out of Lear jets,
When I can fly way back home.I need a love to keep me happy,
I need a love to keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.
Baby, baby keep me happy.EXILE ON MAIN STREET
LYRICS
poster:Phil
thread:25352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020531/msgs/25377.html