Posted by Mitchell on April 13, 2002, at 11:32:01
In reply to Re: How do you talk to a lover about her state?, posted by Lacey on April 13, 2002, at 11:03:00
Lacey,
I hope you will forgive me if I don't accept allegations of abuse and assault as factual without an investigation. Almost every day, people feel they are attacked or abused by me. But they are miles away, and the people sitting next to me usually agree that my behavior was appropriate, and the person who felt attacked was defending turf, not defending their dignity.
The same has been my experience in relationships. I feel I have been the target of covert intrigue and when I challenge the intrigue, my partner claimed I was unneccessarily subjecting them to my anger.
If it were you and I, I would ask that you first examine your perceptions to see if you are not party to the three As you describe, then to determine if my anger might really be appropriate. If you still don't like my moods and attitudes, I would suggest that the world is a very large place and there is room of all of us - probably with some distance between us.
On the other hand, if you really want this relationship, maybe you can work out accomodations. If you are co-habitating, seperate rooms can sometimes provide personal space and relieve pressures caused by constant sharing of space.
poster:Mitchell
thread:22001
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020411/msgs/22016.html